God came through...

I came home the Monday after MYC to see my dad prostrate on the chair in my living room. I was terrified, the men with him said he had a mild stroke or something and they were terrified, they prayed fearful prayers and then left.

I just muttered that it was well and went upstairs, sent my sis to buy fast food for him at a nearby eatery and refused to think about it or be afraid. I was terrified to my bone, as much as my dad had not been good, i did not want him to die, he told me 'it is well' but i could see the fear in his eyes. I thought about my folks at work and i did not want them to terrify my dad because i knew he would be scared that his sins were catching up with him.

Many Christians don't know how to receive grace and they also don't know how to extend grace to others, i chose to give my dad grace.

After they were gone, i came downstairs, my mum was panicking and so i hushed her. I had been having nightmares but instead i creamed my dreams and held on to the word of God. I sat and listened to all my father said and then told him that the people he was afraid of had no power over him. I told him God loved him and that God had good thoughts towards him. I told him God could heal him and that any gift that was not from God he could reject.

I bought him two packs of lucozade boost, the bottle and the multivitamin pill, then i began to speak with him and minister the word of God to him. He began to pray in Jesus name. Any time my mom panicked, i would shush her and tell her not to declare anything that was not the word of God over him. I prayed with my younger sis, i prayed the word of God. That God would have mercy on him and carry out his sovereign will by restoring his strength. while my older sis fled the house to look for who would help her.

Eventually we carried him to the hospital where they gave him shots for high blood pressure, by Wednesday night, he was back home. maintaining my calm for those two days was the hardest thing i had ever done but i had to trust God and resist negative testimonies. (You know how christians are always quick to tell you testimonies of people who have died from stroke, i remained silent and listened to the word f God and played it at home). My dad came back home smiling, he thought he was in his death bed, instead i rememebered the pact i made with God that no matter how much the storm raged against my family that there would be no loss and this i held onto. then i held unto the word, 'shalom: nothing missing, nothing broken'.

At about 10.00pm i text-ed my younger sister and told her to pray in tongues that dad was in hospital, she called my elder sis and her hubby. I emptied my account the next day to pay for the hospital bill and sow battle seeds in my church and my younger sisters church. I did this because i could not pray and there is a scripture that says the man with money can ransom his life with his money. My first pastor said when you sow, you are sowing into the future and when i was in nysc, i learnt that money is a ransom that what can the poor man do? In 2008, i learnt that instead of holding money, you could release it to the prophet and get a God result, i never lose when i act on the word of God.

My father whose eyes were weak like he was ready to go came back from the hospital strong with his eyes strong and working about.

The hardest thing i had to do was hold on to God's word as i half carried my dad on one side, my mom on the other as we helped my dad to the car. I felt like his feet were already paralyzed but God turned it around. He himself knew that he had experienced a miracle. V my sister was so worried she couldn't sleep. I had to encourage my siblings that it was well and call my mom and encourage her with the word of God because she can so panick. Then sleep and wake up to go to atm, pay for the meals at home and get to work and act like everything was working together for good but i did it and i am so grateful God always answers.

I don't deserve the way he loves me and i don't want t deserve it, i just want to accept his goodness and know i am greatly loved by God and many folks.

My latest word: Kings shall come to my rising cos i am favoured and blessed, in all i do i shall prosper and everything i touch shall be blessed.

Yes i had opportunity to lay hands but i wasn't so led, instead i had an agreement prayer with my sis because i knew she had faith. So we agreed.

PS When you make an agreement prayer be sure that the person you are praying with is in agreement and believes in God and in His word. I am blessed to be surrounded by men and women of faith (Them that are close to me) because they rub off on me and it means i have built a circle of faith so i keep out unbelief.

Deliberate Growth...

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith,

gentleness, self-control.

My friend from secondary school sent me this lists of things that help growth:

1. Don't waste time fighting the wrong people

Ephes 6:12 focus on what God has told you to do and pray about everything cos your enemies are not the ones with flesh, your enemy is the principalities and powers that try to get you to lose focus.

(Don't get it twisted, the folks who annoy you and get you raging hot; hormones or adrenaline from anger are not the problem)

2. Don't play self defeating movies in your head.

2 Cor 10:3-5

Don't allow negative thoughts and words of people play over and over again in your head, cast them down by speaking the promise of God aloud.

(I used to do this, still do it from time to time, i can agonize over things and make them a big deal, now when i get tempted, i read my bible; its a weapon)

3. Don't listen to 'they'

Luke 23:34

Have this mantra, 'run to the throne not the phone'.

People can only temporarily relief your aches, God can make it all go away, i have to learn that sometimes your mouth can keep quiet about what is not conclusive and i can talk.

4. Don't stop planting seeds

Gen 1:11

Plant the seed of encouragement and don't be the only thing on your mind.

I never had the martyr mentality, i fought it, Jesus dying on the cross is enough, he 'done' paid for everything. My heart is a garden and God's word can grow if i can keep out the negative emotions and thought patterns; then i can believe God.

5. Don't connect with evil doers

Tis a roundabout way of saying 'build a circle of faith around you'. So any one that don't believe, in you or in your vision, get out of your line of vision, you don't hate them but their words won't encourage or build you.

6. Don't say it is not working

Rom 8:28

Don't move from what God promised, stay with it and be expectant.

You have to remember that some promises come quickly and others come later but they still come.

My days are miraculous!

I want to encourage you, no matter what anyone has said or thought or what your circumstances are telling you, you might be bed ridden or in a wheel chair or held down physically, emotionally or mentally.

Have you asked yourself this question "What has God said?"

His word can override any negative circumstance, this is because his word is ye and amen!

i found out:

That to activate the law of the spirit of life
you speak

speak the word of God

resist fear, anger, strife, jealousy and every negative emotion
be a new creation...

I love you lord
and i trust you to
get me through
this time.

Its been so long

My healing is still intact amidst many battles...

Lord i love you so much.

My latest scripture i am standing on is...

1 pet 2 :24 "...who his own self bore our sins in his own body on the tree, that we being dead unto sin should live unto righteousness by whose stripes ye were healed"

I vibrate endlessly day in day out and i know its the anointing of God's spirit, i don't know what to do and so i speak the word of God.

I used to vibrate then too, before the other healing, my feet used to vibrate endlessly.
I just am convinced that God loves me too much. He loves me and i am glad that he does. Holy Ghost help me to continuously fellowship with your spirit.

I am so loved of God it humbles me. My sis is back from the psychiatric home she stayed at for 5 months.
she no longer talks or laughs but guess what i don't believe in the drugs as much as the drugs may work.

My trust is in the word of God that says that "he himself bare our sins on his body on the tree that we being dead to sin should live unto righteousness, by whose stripes we were healed"

Thank you Jesus cos you love me.
I am vibrating again but guess what even when i am not vibrating, i choose to believe that my healing is still present because the gifts and the calling of God are without repentance.

i want to say i love you lord

I have the life of God in me.

Guess what? I got healed of that vaginal discharge.

i was unsure
i was scared
i was convinced
my emotions were on a roller coaster

i went for easter meeting pretty confused
because every one was attacking me
from all angles
i was a hooker, a pro, a wicked gal
i could have broken then if they tried me

i was crying inside
but also holding on tightly to Jesus
inside me, i was strong, unlike me

But... i knew God spoke to me
i was giving like a crazy chic
everything i had
i was abandoned by everyone
or so my psyche told me

i closed my eyes and focused on God
and God showed himself strong on my behalf
i was still smelling
but God told me to stop padding
and so i stopped

and when people mocked me asking
if i had a testimony, i smiled serenely
and said yes that i would say
when i was ready

a month or two weeks later
i stopped smelling and then
all the tornado from the church leader
started coming telling me it would come back

i sat through many meetings scared
it would come back and i could feel
people sniffing around me
trying to make it smell
God stood by me and i remain

I smell oxygen now
wonderful oxygen
the air smells good
the flowers look brighter
Its wonderful to be alive

Guess what?
I know God has more testimonies
in store for me
The waves of favor
If i would only dare to believe.

I will dare to believe
Cause i know that God loves me
too much!

i lived....

"Tara come forth"

i had malaria and these were like the words that preserved me amidst the prayers of familya nd friends.

so i battled for my life against malaria fever and all the demons of hell who thought they had the right to take me. At first, i thought it was a joke and then i prayed sparingly. Guess what i had this sneaky feeling that someone was trying to take my right to life from me.

who can declare a thing when the Lord has not commanded it?

not that i remembered this scripture at the time. somehow i feel refreshed after this ailment had been sent back to the enemy, i do not want any gifts from him.

"My times are in God's hand".

My words are important and no one, i repeat no one is going drive me from this earth until i am satisfied.

i love you

so these past few weeks, i learnt about God and His presence that he is so big that he encompasses us all. He is everywhere all over the earth. He is present everywhere all over our body and within us and that we belong to Him

i love belonging to God cos it means that He fights my battles. I love being loved by Him. I remember when 'Angel felt she was so filled with shame and that she could not believe that she could be loved by Michael Hosea'

i totally identified with her, i was filled with shame partially cos i was already a Christian.

i am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus just was not enough for me. i kept trying to break down but God was holding by His word.

then he came to me during an all-night and whispered 'jehovah Mekoddishkem' in my ears and it took me a week to find out the meaning and it goes like this:

i am the one who sanctifies!

if God has sanctified me? even if a pastor accuses me, i still retain my confidence in God. I am the apple of God eye.

He says 'T' i love you with an everlasting love. and i am enclosed in His love, protected from my enemies who would hurt me by repeating a story over and over again that helps no one.

He has said tome: I will take away sickness (whatever form) from amongst you so i should to believe that no sickness on the earth shall have dominion over me or my family, even my day.

He has said to me: I know the grace of God that though He was rich, He became poor, that i through His poverty might be made rich. therefor i know that i am in a wealthy place and that i would lend to nations and not borrow.

i thank God for influence beyond what i have ever planned because His favor and His grace causes me to increase and to stand out amongst millions before Kings and not mean men.

He won my heart!

i love you lord.

i have been trusting God for something in particular since dec 2000. i have received in in faith and i thank God that He provided for something i did not even know i would require. God is that faithful.

God has integrity and i am so grateful to him for that. He died on the cross for me and he still proved His trustworthiness to me before i gave Him my soul and i do not plan to reconsider anything about my loving Him.

I choose to be like Shedrach, Meshack and Abednego and like Esther and trust God in spite of what my circumstances are telling me.

I speak to my circumstances and say 'all things are working together for my good because i love God and i am called according to His purpose.
I choose to believe his word that says that

He won my heart!

i love you lord.

i have been trusting God for something in particular since dec 2000. i have received in in faith and i thank God that He provided for something i did not even know i would require. God is that faithful.

God has integrity and i am so grateful to him for that. He died on the cross for me and he still proved His trust

He won my heart. My love

hey i found the meaning of Jehovah Mekoddishkem

it means the lord my sanctifier and i am the lord who sanctifies you.

it also means "come out from amongst them and be ye seperate

i just want to say that i have seen the hand of God and i have chosen to take the risk and trust God for divine health and prosperity and of course direction.

i need to trust someone and who better to trust than God.

gotta sign out...
The word of God is true

someone died of cancer recently nd i can only say that it is the grace of God that has kept me and my family

i have heard thoughts of others wondering why not my family, we have not had the most monies in recent times and it would be so easy to give up and become bad

...but not for the God who thought me important enough to go the cross for.
God thinks i am just too much. i am the apple of his eye and no boy, no man can ever
take that away from me

i am secure in his love. trusting! If you knew what it took me to trust God with my life and give him my heart, you will know i am a pretty difficult gal. what can i say? He won my heart.
i say mi corazon, my love, my lord, the keeper of my heart.
My all!
I love you beyond words, beyond this world
you are my destiny, my heart, nothing can seperate me from your love.

office brouhaha!

so my office environment is really crazy and i almost think all the hassle is not worth it.

i uploaded my fav bag to encourage moi. i really need a life. seriously think of launching out on my own. just need a steady source of income first. many streams of income rather. then i could still volunteer once a week or so or start charity work of some sort. i hate to do things i have already done in the past.

meanwhile i maintain the dream that some bloke will come out of the woods and buy me a house in site a and then deposit 10 million in my account. i hear my alter ego saying ole nea

part of me wants to believe it though cos i really need to get out of my parents home. i am over 21.

God makes all things beautiful in his time.

The earnest prayer of a righteous man has great power and wonderful results.

i had a vision of a light skinned male child, totally adorable. i don't understand my spiritual gifts properly so right now i don't know what it means but it must mean something good since it is from God.

i am fighting for my faith...

the best of me...

i am me
i get depressed sometimes
the only way i can come back up is by praying in the spirit
always struggle with joy this time of the year.
it helps to remember though
that i am saved by grace
and sustained by his sovereign will
nothing just happens...

moi

Mother Teresa (1910 - 1997)
Indian (Albanian-born) humanitarian & missionary
Adapted by moi for understanding and love.
God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try.
Mother Teresa

I grew up trying to be as good as mother Theresa, even wanting to be a nun, the whole works and this thought frees me. God requires that I try at least so that the fear of failure does not stop me from achieving great things.

I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
Mother Teresa

I am not sure I agree with her. I have never loved before except you are counting agape which is God’s love and I love God cos he first loved me. As for human relationships, I think I am a mess when it comes to actually relating on an intimate level with anyone who is not family or a friend for ages at least. I think I have a commitment-phobia about getting close to anybody not just male folk. God will work it out in His time (I hear now!) lol

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.
Mother Teresa

As for me, I am glad that God trusts me so much, why? Cos He wouldn’t speak to me if He did not trust me as a worthy daughter. If you can ask me the one thing I can value above my family, I would say my communication with God. Lately I had been having issues I could not put a name to and during a prayer all-night, he just dropped Jehovah Mekaddishkem in my spirit. I found out later that it means “I am the lord that sanctifies”. I was so thrilled within me; there is nothing that pleases me more than attention from God.

Joy is prayer - Joy is strength - Joy is love - Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.
Mother Teresa

I have learnt joy not as others in smiles but in quietness and confidence. I have learnt to see joy in the clouds, the skies, my beauty; I always did not know I was beautiful. I had to learn to value myself. I learnt that I was fearfully and wonderfully made by God and now when people try to cut me down or hurt me, I know who I am.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
Mother Teresa

I have thought myself to always speak kind words, why? Cos I appreciate kind words a lot. Its always nice to hear healing and building words that can build you up, maybe not as much as the Holy Ghost will when you speak in tongues but it will definitely encourage you and encouragement is always a fun thing.

Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.
Mother Teresa

I wish I can learn this. I am not usually one to smile when I meet someone for the first time. You would rather see a stoic if pretty face full of many thoughts. You could say I see you in passing but I am usually very polite. I could change this a little. I do this cos I am not one to trust so easily (been betrayed a couple of times) but you know that is not an excuse, I need to work at being more Christ-like and of course encourage others often by deliberately setting out to make their day.

Let us make one point, that we meet each other with a smile, when it is difficult to smile. Smile at each other, make time for each other in your family.
Mother Teresa, in her Nobel lecture

Like I said, I need to smile more often. Why? I want to emulate Mother Teresa cos she touched many lives growing up. I hope someday in heaven, all the lives I have touched knowingly or unknowingly will come up to me and say thank you for serving the lord. I personally think it’s a privilege and it makes life worth the living.

Lord, i love you!

i love you!

These words are simple. they are also true cos u have shared some of the scariest times of my life and some of the most glorious times. It is in some of theses times that i know the grace and the miraculous of God.

It is at one of these times that a certain ailment disappeared some my body about a day ago, today actually. I am so glad my heart is bursting out of its seams. so blogville you are already having testimonies and i will record some other past testimonies.
Like my deliverance from fear.

By his wounds was i healed (made whole)

Lord,
I am so glad that your words are spirit and life. The people that were scorning me are already wondering where the smell went. You Know what it was lord and i have nothing to hide from you; just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I love you
not cos of it.
but cos of salvation.
i wonder where i would have been today if i did not choose to follow you.
I am sorry about the times i neglected you
Those times were difficult cos i would not let you in
Lord,
Don't let me leave you
speak to me often and help me listen
prompt me to seek you often
I love you my savior
the lover of my soul
time spent in worship with you
is more than worth it
Holy spirit help build my character
Your love to me
is better than life.

Walk me through this stuff lord
Love you so much its like my heart is breaking
difference is i know you can be trusted

To my Love
God

Okay, i got shot!

Lord,
Imagine how much i enjoyed the weekend
watched many preachers teach, i grew almost ten feet tall, had a wonderful time in church apart from minor distractions.
i went home, got my hair done. My self esteem is soaring everyday, not just cos i look good ( i know i do) but cos i am beautiful inside and out
so i get to the office and our administrator says some nasty things that have particular targets and he is just mocking and mocking and i nearly lose control.
i said 'mocker' under my breathe then i hold myself.
this self control thing is not as easy as i would like it to be.
i was feeling hurt looking around and gathering my my tornadoes to destroy the people trying to decapacitate me. then i remember that he says that vengeance is his and that i am to love em'
i am trying this love stuff for the last 2 weeks or so. so i say under my breathe that i love them. the words sound like ashes in my mouth but i make myself say them because i choose to align me with God's word.
like now, i keep saying his wounds have made me whole and he will perfect all that concerns me in jesus name, amen

when i received the shot(verbal), no one knows more than me how my face wanted to squeeze up and crumple in tears and just die and go to the grave, but something inside me says 'greater is he that lives in me than he that lives in the world"
I know who i am, i cannot be defeated because all things are working together for my good because i love God and i am the called according to his purpose.

N.B. To end this, let me just say thank you God for strengthening my backbone. only God knows that Wednesday last week, i wanted to give up on my christian walk. God knows ever since September i have been having challenges upon challenge but i have been overcoming by the spirit. My christian walk is all that sustains me and my r/ship with the H.spirit, as much as it has been like walking on cobwebs, it is the times he spoke to me that i received encouragement.

Let me say this direct to God. Lord, Friend, i saw those 'ivie's (two of em) wo obo when debai obo otion when. This is why i trusted you enough to move forward. I believe that you who began a good walk in me, you are faithful to complete it until the day of Christ.

so last week sunday...

on the fifth of October after spending about 4 years controlling myself in church, the lord didn't wait for me. i started crying for about 30 mins or so. every body was worshiping and there i was crying. i could not understand it. why would every body be worshiping and i am just crying. inside me, i am wondering am i hurt about something? am i scared about something? am i suppressing something?

...and i think to myself, why is God embarrassing me like this? doesn't he know that people will start wondering that o her life is so darn hard. let it how honey! let God know how u feel? that's what they would say in a black American church but in a church like mine, it would just set tongues wagging cos they would not understand. i didn't understand myself until God stayed with me and wouldn't leave.

i have visions too. but about people and stuff and its never complete and i can never tell any of the church folk cos they will just think that i am a witch. so sometimes i have visions of the way people really feel even when they pretend around me but i don't know if God can trust me with his gift cos i don't always know how to react i am to straight to the point.

so i decided to grow constantly this week why? cos i am a seed of Abraham and Abraham staggered not at the deadness of sarah's womb, he believed God and it was credited unto him as righteousness. well, as for me, i know that by his stripes, we have been made whole and that he was the one who bore our infirmities and that he was bruised for our iniquities, the chastisement of our peace was laid upon him and by his stripes we were made whole. so i see myself as whole, the healed one of God who has the zoe life. the God-kind of life.

I hope i can continue this walk cos i love the lord, jesus to be precise and apparently he loves me right back cos anytime i get distracted he has a way of just drawing my attention right back to him so it is obvious i am fightin my battles but Christ is always with me.

i love you jesus. i am so in-love with you it hurts my chest. it feels me with peace i cannot understand.

i am saved alleluia!

so i got saved march 2001.
i got saved after a really traumatic incident. funny thing is i had already decided to get saved but the incident almost made me change my mind and then my academics crashed. then my finances crashed. then my family crashed and all i could depend on was God.

like i said i was already going to give my life to Christ and so i postponed for another four months and then finally i gave in and gave my life. though i had given my heart, my heart was still like stone and i could not understand why i had to love God or trust after all the rubbish i had been through.

One day i went for a meeting and a man from America, they were a team of missionaries gave a word and i just couldn't resist. the holy ghost lifted me physically and took me out, that was how i officially received the infilling of the holy ghost. from then onwards i would be worshiping in church and my eyes would fill with tears and be gushing like it had buckets of water supporting the water flow. well, i was like "why is Holy Ghost doing me like this now?" my entire thought was that people would be wondering why is she crying now? i read up on everything i could find and i still could not find out the reason for the tears.

i wondered maybe i can't control my emotions in the presence of God but with other people i am walled up. well, after it had happened steadily for like 5 months, i gave up hope that God would leave me alone to just lick my wounds Privately. I thank God He never left. What would i have done? He cared too damn much to let me go on like the devil could defeat me.

that was how i got introduced to the presence of the Holy Ghost.